One night stand

On a long walk🚶 in the woods, Ramesh found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give RAMESH a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Ramesh was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Ramesh agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either.
The next morning, Ramesh awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. “What's wrong?” asked Ramesh .
“Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery -- we had my little girl's funeral this morning.
But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night.”. 😜 😂 😂

The Interview

During the Interview 

Interviewer 1: Do you have any questions?
Me: You told that you provide free food, transportation and work from home.

Interviewer 1 & 2 : Yeah
Me: So, can I use the free transport go to office have food, come back with the free transport, and then work from home.

REJECTED.

who is the fool

 This is crime story :
5 friends lived in a room
namely 1.mad 2.brain 3.fool
4.somebody 5.nobody.
one day, somebody killed nobody
that time brain was in bath room,
mad called police.

mad: is it police  station?
police: yes, what is matter?
mad: somebody killd nobody
police: are you mad?
mad: yes i am mad.
police: don't u have brain.
mad : brain is in bathroom.
police: u fool
mad : no, fool is reading...

Doesn't matter who you are even Obama has to listen to his wife. 😜

Naughty and Adorable kids - 1

He deserves it man

A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders.

He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman.

All men are the same

The women who invented the phrase 'All men are the same' was probably a Chinese women who lost her husband in a crowd in China.

Field crossing

A man 👨 asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train 🚂.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

The date

When I see lovers 💏 names carved in a tree 🎄 , I don't think it's sweet.

I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.😉👌😂

Task Manager Not working. Who will save you now ?

That quick moment

Smile

A boy met a girl in Metro....

Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.

Boy: Awwww........Are you single?

Girl: No, I am a Dentist.😂😂😂😂😂😜

So true

Pity cat...

Valentines

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q. What did one volcano say to the other?
A. I lava you.
Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?

Do you know who I am

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*

Natural death

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

Stupid

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Oh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

Fat cow

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"